Step 0. Oil

Before we begin on any of the maintenance itself, it's worth spending a little time talking about oil.

Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net, photographer m_bartosch

Clearly, the oil used on bikes isn't the delicious treat above, but nor is it oil in the form we probably think of it as ... a dark, gloopy substance. Indeed, I think I'm probably the only person who still calls it oil. It's actually lube, and there are a variety of different types for different bits of your bike. I'd list some of them here, but I don't actually know what they all are yet, let alone explain the differences.

The one thing they all have in common is that they get everywhere. If ever you're doing any work on your bike, assume that anything you touch other than the handlebars, saddle and levers will have some form of lube on them. It seems to me that the attitude towards lube of people who service bikes is very similar to that of the people who make sandwiches for supermarkets towards mayonnaise - if in doubt, slap in a good helping of it. (The difference of course being that bike lube is much more appetising than mayonnaise.)

All that said, specific points to note are:

1. Whenever you're doing work on your bike, make sure you're wearing clothes that it won't matter if they get dirty. Overalls you've used for decorating would be a good choice.
2. All the grimy dirty stuff that sticks to the lube also has an affinity for sticking under your fingernails far more strongly than you'd expect. Save yourself a lot of scrubbing by buying a pack of disposable latex or vinyl gloves. They're not expensive and you should be able to get them in a nearby supermarket without too much difficulty.
3. Remember what side your chain is on! If you're lifting your bike, or reaching around it, you want to avoid coming into contact with your chain. It's the most lubed and grubbiest bit of the bike.
4. If you've got a shed or an area outside to work on your bike, that's the best bet. If you do have to bring it inside, be very very careful what it touches! Specifically, if you have to push it up stairs (which I did for many, many years) check that the bottom of the chain doesn't rub against the floor when you take it up or down the last step.

Alan.